i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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