Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You were trust falling into bushes
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
