my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
