Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
