i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
