This dress was meant to end up on your floor
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Ladies don't puke and tell
Randomize