I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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