Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
