i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
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