she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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