She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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