i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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