I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I need a beard to bite.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
