hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
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you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
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He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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