I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
