butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
