Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
