I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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