Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
