worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
