Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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