dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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