Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
