3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
