I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
no more duck duck goose at the bar
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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