wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
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Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
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He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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