aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
