Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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