WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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