so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize