I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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