i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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