She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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