If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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