Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
