I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
