8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
