So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
