lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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