So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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