just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize