I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
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He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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