I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
