Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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