I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
She's not a foreskin expert like you
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at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish