wat bout pragnant strippers??
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back