just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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