Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
