There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
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Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
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btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Success! We fucked roommates!
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