so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Randomize
