I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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