Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I look excited, but its just a facade.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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