do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize