it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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