thus making me awesome and them whores
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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