no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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