the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Mom said you looked used
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
